Often resistance or conflict is a product of setting unrealistic goals for yourself, setting yourself up for failure. People constantly say ‘I am going to get up tomorrow and find a good a job and it is going to be the greatest job ever! I am also going to find the perfect relationship and find the perfect car! Wow my whole life going to come together!’
And then you get up the next day and something comes up and you do not even make it out to apply for the job and you feel like a failure for not reaching your goals, so you smoke a joint or you have a beer and you forget about it until the next day.
The next day you feel compelled to compensate for lost time so it becomes more of a significant issue to get there. All these things start building up as resistance and then you self medicate with a little more and a little more, and then you settle.
But it could be just a matter of setting small goals and being opened to all the possibilities that surround them, like going outside and talking to a few people, dropping off a couple resumes and if it comes, it comes. Just be open to the possibility that just talking to a person on the way to drop of a resume, could lead to some sort of balance or perspective.
When you are focused on finding the job, you do not see the world around you that surrounds it. Life is that very thing, you are moving with all possibilities wide open in all directions and through this you get to see emotionally what direction feels right.
When something rises up amidst it all we take a special objective look at it. The movie “Yes Man” illustrates the idea of blindly entertaining all possibilities that arise in ones life. With each Yes you are opening a possibility, even though initially it may seem unnatural, or unfamiliar.
Like in the movie when Jim Carrey’s character reluctantly gave a bum a ride home, the bum led him to a woman and the woman led him into a variety of relationships that would eventually lead him to find balance in himself.
If you are open to all possibilities then you are free in relationship to the world around you. Like giving a bum $5.00 without caring what he does with it. It is the gesture itself that is rewarding because the gesture itself is complete unto itself.
Once the moment has passed there is little use for interaction with the bum unless we invoke opinion, expectation and intention to help distract us from the existing moment.
One of the key components in my work is the practice of asking questions looking for questions instead of asking questions looking for answers.
When you find an answer to a question it puts the question in a box and the only way to free it from the box is to ask another question. And that is just another directional movement from that point of departure
When you are open in all directions you find there is not such thing as an answer, there are only other questions and you are moving in a direction constantly.
As you are moving in a direction you will find that every direction has an element of either resistance or fluidity of movement.
Your will will present you the most effortless direction, and as you find balance in the self through exercises or whatever you do to better understand the conditioning, you will find the direction that is your will is actually drawing you out or coaxing you out with every gesture you make.
And by allowing the self to move or be drawn in that direction, you are opening up to a greater network or greater knowledge of what creates you. In itself the environment is creating you in the same way you are creating the environment, by focusing this light in these directions.
So to understand you, you must also understand the environment by understanding that this is the exact opposite of that at any given point.
You are entertaining every negative and every positive in this equation that is existence. The first step to self inquiry is to just except everything as it is.
Everything you truly are is unchanging, for you to have an expectation about yourself is to draw yourself away from the Self.
You watch your parents and they may be alcoholics and appear to be totally evil but nobody really tries to hurt anybody purposely in any particular way, they act based on confirming or denying who they think they are at that particular moment.
Ultimately all they are doing is acting on a conditioned response to the environment based on a conditioned interpretation of whatever the environment is stimulating at that particular point.
So when your parents start to affect you in a negative way, what they are doing is trying to bring you into this state of familiarity which is where the tension originates.
This is where they feel comfortable in reacting to the environment; by not reacting you become the positivity that comes from breaking that cycle and share it with them.
At first they might get frustrated and resist as it feels unfamiliar, until they realize they are just resisting the breaking of their own cycle and the opening to a greater network.
As you watch the cycles break all around you, even your interpretation of inanimate objects, you find that every tiny little thing is an intersection, like a star, it is as a product of the convergence of all this focus from all of these points and connected vicariously to all of it.
Any one point is a product of the network of all other things and by breathing and expanding outward, you are expanding to include all of these things as part of your being, realizing that the entire network is in fact the point on which you put your attention.
“Every man and every woman is a star” says Aleister Crowley and I mean to take a much more literal view of this statement. Each of us is a star, a simple breath amidst the convergence of the light of the neighboring stars. A black hole that is created from an enormous star that has reached the end of its cycle is the exact same thing as, for example Jesus.
Jesus is a star, and such an intense focus was put on him that as he lit up and expanded he created this literal time lapse whereas just thinking of him you are going back in time, by thinking of him your acknowledging every tiny piece of DNA that is associated with the thought of him.
You are deeply connected to everything that he was and the way he still moves and touches the world around you; there will always be this draw towards it as Jesus himself is simply a symbolic representation of love and balance.
What this means is Jesus simply became love and balance himself and that had an affect on a small amount of people, and they now had a means of describing this feeling… Jesus. And it was such a drastically intense feeling that they described it as passionately as they could to everyone, it still resonates, ripples through the world as we know it. One point becoming unified with all things without letting anything escape the truth, thus a black hole.
The point is that every time we think of him were being drawn back through all of it, just like light to a black hole. If you sit there and meditate on it enough you can actually recreate the entirety of his existence where he is the point that all these other things are shining through.
By that I mean that each and every person carries with them an intensity, even if they are just little stars that will eventually develop into neutron stars, which is what our sun will eventually become, where there is just a hard shell with a bunch of neutrally charged particles inside.
What I am trying to show people is that just understanding the network itself is the process of awakening the Self, we are the witness drawn to a point, just pass through it and be presented as a witness to its reciprocal. It is a process of letting go of expectation, letting go of intention, letting go of opinion that allows us to dissolve into the bliss of the movement itself.
It is easy to say that out loud but how do you feel it?
How do you really feel it? I can say until I am blue in the face that everything is one! God is the unity of all things! But how does that feel? It seems to me it may feel a little like the vast emotional release of everything that you define yourself as; the feeling of freedom, vulnerability, love, God.
It may not be a matter of you pushing harder but understanding what is pushing you that holds the key of unfolding. Identify the resistance just to realize you were the one holding on the whole time.