“I’ll meet y’all there!” *goes to bed*
1. Going out always reminds you why you love to stay home.
2. Netflix and wine are some of your dearest friends.
3. You love going to the movies by yourself. Nothing beats matinee prices!
4. Your ideal Friday night is curling up with a good book and then falling asleep after your nightcap (Sleepytime tea, duh).
5. You can often be found wearing fleece pants and slippers.
6. Because even when it’s summer, you’re still chilly.
7. You’ve probably taught yourself how to knit, crochet, and/or to write calligraphy.
8. You still love sending snail mail.
9. You obviously prefer talking on the phone over texting.
10. And one thing is for sure: alone time is one of life’s greatest treasures.
11. Bed time is 10 p.m on a normal day.
12. Or 11 at the absolute latest.
13. Anything after starts giving you anxiety about how much sleep you’re losing.
14. But you’re a total morning person!
15. You look forward to waking up, drinking coffee, and watching Good Morning America.
16. Your favorite shows consist of Wheel of Fortune, anything on the I.D. channel, and HGTV.
17. You actually look forward to sick days because it means you get to watch Price is Right.
18. You have no interest in keeping up with any of the Kardashians and you find them all incredibly annoying.
19. Honestly, you don’t get most pop-culture references.
20. What does “crossfaded” even mean?
20th Century Fox
21. You’ve never quite fit in with people your age.
22. Most of your friends are pretty much older with the exception of maybe two from like third grade.
23. You’re definitely the “mom” or “dad” of the group.
24. That’s why you bring homemade baked goods to the office for your coworkers to enjoy.
25. You're also the wizened old sage. All of your friends come to you for advice.
26. Everyone also comes to you for aspirin, bandages, gum, etc. — because they know you carry it with you everywhere you go.
27. People always tell you how “mature you are for your age.”
28. That’s why you hated your parents for seating you at the kids' table during any family event.
29. You are a total board game fanatic.
30. Anyone who breaks out LIFE or Monopoly is in T-R-O-U-B-L-E!
31. And card games…like, Gin Rummy is your idea of a good time.
32. But once a month you’re down for going out.
33. Even though house parties are your worst nightmare.
34. So you immediately start looking for a pet that can keep you entertained until everyone is ready to go to a bar.
35. Because socializing at parties is exhausting and it’s already past your bedtime.
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