He could never imagine that the mere everyday affairs like giving a lift or being given a lift would involve such intricate psychological angles. The basic problem, he reasoned so often, was that of how the other party would interpret the offers made. If the interpretation was right it would work perfectly for mutual benefit. However, if it was misinterpreted which was normally feared it would rub on both the parties the wrong way. Such an ultra-sensitive and generous person that he was his experiences in this regard were not conclusive enough to show him whether he should laugh it off or should be more careful about it.
Quite a few years back one of his office colleagues used to give him lift in his car after office hours. They normally agreed upon the nearest common point where he could alight and his colleague could also proceed homewards without any diversion. Although this worked perfectly for both of them he while taking a lift often had the urge to make a suggestion to his colleague. ‘Why don’t you stop at my place and enjoy a steaming cup of coffee. Enjoy my hospitality on the way!’, he wanted to say. Once he made such an offer. However, his colleague politely refused saying that if they took the alternative route it would delay his reaching home due to more traffic that side. This made him restive and guessing. Was his genuinely felt offer being misinterpreted?
He thought his colleague must have thought, “Well, this fellow wants to be dropped right next to his doorstep! Why should people take advantage of generous offers?” However, he was not sure. His colleague might have thought like that or might have not in refusing his hospitality. All the same, he learnt his lesson. From that time he decided not to make such offers unless something common was agreed upon mutually. Interestingly afterwards, he found out that the same psychic mechanism worked the other way round too.
After fulfilling his dream of owning a personal car he began giving lifts to office people, not in a planned or regular manner though, but at random. However, over the months one office lady proved to be the most frequent beneficiary. He used to drop her at a common point nearest to her residence that did not cause inconvenience to him either. That such a kind-hearted and generous person he was here too he often had the urge to drop her right at her doorstep. And he had an occasion soon to make such an offer.
That day was very tiring. He worked very hard all day clearing some crucial files and got late. Same thing happened for the lady too and she also leaving at the same time he got into his car. Naturally lift was offered and taken. Sensing the lady was burnt out after a very hard day’s work he with genuine feelings made his offer of dropping her right at home taking the alternative route. The lady politely said it was not necessary to take that extra trouble, but he insisted. Finally the lady agreed and said, “Okay Sir, as you please. But let me get you a steaming cup of coffee with some delicious cakes at my residence.”
He was completely taken aback. My God! Was she thinking what he thought likely that, “Sir is tired too and wants to get refreshed on the way? But he can tell me frankly, why to take the indirect measure to the same end?” “Believe me! I don’t want to be refreshed! I felt for you and genuinely made the offer”, he thought aloud. Maybe she did not think like that and was genuine in her offer too! Maybe she never offered him a cup of coffee in the previous months thinking the same way he thought while he was taking the lift. ‘The goddamned psychic mechanism is a stumbling block both ways!’ The real problem was that he could not be sure of anything.
Therefore he started making excuses. To his horror the lady insisted. However, at the end he managed to shake it off saying, “Please, not today. I’ll definitely accept the next time!”
After dropping her right in front of her residence he had another urge. He laughed all the way home.
