We spend a lot of time around here shining the light on ‘hidden detractors’. By this I mean anything that could possibly be keeping you from meeting the kind of women you want to meet and/or having total control over continuing the relationship when you so choose, but which you haven’t quite got a handle on yet.
I believe that one of the darkest such “hidden detractor” for many guys involves Failure To Deploy in the area of courage.
That’s right, simple “courage”.
A month or so ago, I talked to you about “Six Ways To Man Up”. Each of those respective suggestions, you’ll recall, was qualified by “strength”.
Anyway, the reason why “courage” wasn’t set apart as one of the half-dozen in that list of masculine indicators that drive women wild is a very simple one.
Courage, as it turns out, is an overarching theme that quite literally pervades a man’s being. When you successfully “inspire confidence” you have essentially-by definition-succeeded at assuring a woman of your own personal level of courage.
So this time, let’s outline exactly what courage IS. And more specifically, lets talk about the kind of courage that women in particular find irresistibly attractive.
I’ll give you a hint: It’s not found in the Jeff Foxworthy moments when we tell everyone, “Hey y’all, watch this!” Nope, meaningless foolishness is a turn-off to women, as is “showing off” purely for the purpose of impressing them.
So here we go…a half-dozen ways to eliminate wussification forever and execute with strength:
1) Courage When It’s Expected As Obvious
If most garden-variety human beings can stand up something, so should you. It’s not unusual to have phobias, even irrational ones. But know this: If you are afraid to fly, cross bridges or take the elevator you will NOT be exactly inspiring confidence in a woman who likely has no such trepidation. Your ability to inspire confidence takes a direct hit when you are afraid when even most women are unfazed.
It is crucial to grasp this concept accurately. Nobody is asking you to drive in an ice storm, tail rattlesnakes like freakin’ Steve Irwin or even eat food off the floor.
But if you throw a hissy fit when a bee that you aren’t even mortally allergic to flies within five feet of you, and the women surrounding you go, “Um…dude, what’s the big deal?”, those are the times you know you have to learn how to get over it.
2) Courage When Faced With The Unknown
What happens when there’s a question mark ahead? Do you hold your head up and boldly face the music, or do you thrust your head in the sand and procrastinate for as long as humanly possible?
One key example, made hilariously famous by George Lopez in a stand up routine of his, of this is when a guy knows he has a medical issue but refuses to see a doctor.
Knowing the doctor could tell you any number of things ranging from the innocuous to the devastating, you go anyway and get it taken care of.
“It’s better not to know…besides, they’ll charge me for everything!” is funny when George Lopez says it, but would demonstrate to a woman in your life that you are a complete coward were YOU say it.
If you know the company is announcing layoffs today, you go to work. Whatever it is, unless it’s armed and deadly and you are not, you face it. Women love the initiative and the leadership.
3) Courage To Accomplish What Motivates You
I don’t know how many guys I have heard talking about what they dream of doing, or where they dream of going…quickly followed by a phrase beginning with the word “but”.
“Oh man, I’d LOVE to go to [insert exotic destination here]. But what if I got arrested and thrown into jail there or caught some weird illness while there?”
“Wow…I’d LOVE to get a motorcycle license. But I’m really afraid I’d have an accident.”
All this is BORING to women, who are often craving excitement in their lives.
The most breathtaking irony of all in that respect is that I am wracking my brain, but believe I have never suggested that a woman join me for something adventurous and have her flatly refuse…as long as her confidence was inspired.
4) Courage When The Chips Are Down
When it’s “fight or flight”, women are counting on you to keep a level head and make the right decision. Like the NBA all star wants the ball when his team is down by a point with five seconds left on the clock, you should likewise seek to be the decision-maker when a crisis looms.
Whether it’s a family issue, a job loss, a car accident, a spider in the bathroom or a weird sound in the middle of the night, you take the proverbial bull by the horns.
5) Courage Among Men
If you are consistently dominated by and generally manhandled by the AMOGs around you, women will not be impressed by your passivity. Have the courage to suggest ideas, take leadership in the face of ambiguity and remain reasonable when foolishly provoked.
Nothing inspires confidence in a woman more than this. You aren’t starting bar fights, but you are standing your ground and refusing to be a doormat.
Of course, there’s one final linchpin that all five of the previous examples are predicated upon…
6) Courage Towards HER
You must not be afraid of the woman herself.
This means that you approach her and talk to her that first time you meet her without trepidation, which in turn will help her feel at ease with you.
This also means you don’t kowtow and “kiss up” because you are afraid of either losing her favor or angering her. And it especially means that you don’t soft peddle every last original idea you have lest you offend her or not give her what she wants.
Most guys are deathly afraid of making a woman cry. You have to understand that women are more upset by your cowardice in telling the truth than by your honesty, as long as you keep her best interests at heart.
I mentioned that lack of courage is often a “hidden detractor”. Seriously, in this day and age of safe cubicle jobs and couch potato lifestyles it’s all too easy for us guys to completely miss the fact that we are even lacking in this area. But make no mistake-women have a sixth sense for this stuff. So building genuine courage, backed by solid reasoning skills, should be the goal of every man.
Here’s the thing.
I could give you a set of “rules” to follow. I could give you a checklist of things to do that might allow you to, at least for the time being, fool a woman or two into thinking you had it all together.
But ultimately the checklist would fail you. You can’t be fumbling for notes when a situation calling for genuine courage comes up.
