After you take a break from your ex and then decide it’s now time to try and text your ex back, you may find yourself in a dilemma. It’s hard enough trying to figure out what to say in those first few text messages to your ex. But that’s not your only problem.
What happens when your ex responds? What do you say then? How do you respond to their response?
Hopefully you were careful about the first few texts you sent. After all, you shouldn’t be trying to get your ex back right off the bat.
Instead, you simply want to open the lines of communication and give your ex the opportunity to start a conversation, but only if he or she wants to. Your first few texts should never put any pressure on your ex to respond.
So let’s assume you did that and sent a good “across the bow” text to get the ball rolling. Maybe it was something like, “Just caught myself thinking of you when I heard that Adele song you love. Hope you’re doing great.”
Now it’s a waiting game. How is your ex going to respond? There are 4 possible scenarios.
1.) No response at all
2.) A neutral response
3.) A positive response
4.) A negative response
If you get no response at all, it’s ok. Don’t worry about it. Your ex may not be ready to hear from you. Wait a few days or a week and then try again with another text message variation. Whatever you do, don’t start sending them message after message asking them why they aren’t replying to you.
A neutral response is something like, “Thanks” or “I’m ok, thanks. You?” If your ex responds like this, you may be tempted to reply back and get into a big long conversation with them. But you shouldn’t. Instead, reply in a friendly, but equally as neutral way and end the conversation.
For example, “I’m good. Hey, I gotta run, but nice hearing from you. Bye for now.”
More than likely you won’t get a super positive response unless you broke up with your ex and they’re excited to hear from you because they weren’t ready for the relationship to end. If they broke up with you, they may also have realized they made a mistake and may therefore be extremely happy to hear from you.
Again, don’t get into a long conversation. Treat this much like a neutral response. Reply back that you’re doing great, it was awesome to hear from them but you have to go, and then end the conversation. This will keep them missing you and longing for you even more.
Lastly, if you get an extremely negative response from your ex, then you will need to give them more time. In this case, don’t text them again for several weeks. If they say something like, “I’m still really hurt and really don’t want to talk to you right now” just reply with something like “Sorry. I totally understand. Hope you’re doing well.”
No matter what response you get from your ex, always be the one to end the conversation first and resist the urge to get into a long, drawn out conversation. It’s extremely hard to resist the urge to talk to them more, especially when you get a positive response, but you’ll put yourself in a much better position to win them back if you keep them wanting more.