There are a few common personality attributes we see in most addicts. These unique behaviors can be associated with an alcoholic as well as someone suffering from drug addiction. We can get a better handle on our own emotions and attitudes by understanding what these common threads are. As we become aware of them, we can then accept them and take actions to protect ourselves from the damage they can do in our life.
Does the alcoholic in your life blame you for many things?
The person in my life who is suffering from addiction is very good at playing the blame game. They have literally told me that I am the source of all of their problems. They justify their anger by pointing the finger at me and people that I am closely associated with. It doesn’t matter if it is a financial issue or one that has to do with relationships, I am often criticized and blamed for many of “their” problems. I have seen this type of behavior in many alcoholics that I have had close relationships with.
Blame is often a topic of a discussion in support group meetings. I began to handle this type of situation differently when I learned that guilt is not something I have to allow others to throw on me. I am not responsible for someones happiness, financial problems or dreams not being fulfilled. If I have done something wrong, I have learned how to make an amend. I also have adapted the capabilities to live more in the present than in the past.
Does the alcoholic in your life have behavior patterns that revolve around arguing?
I learned early on from wise people in alcoholism support group meetings that alcoholics try to keep us angry and anxious. If they can ruffle our feathers, so to speak, it takes the focus off of their poor behaviors and they can once again blame us for things. They have a way of saying things to us that “push our buttons” and make us want to react in negative ways.
One way of gaining a greater awareness of what they are doing to get us riled up is to start keeping a journal. This really works well if we write things down immediately after an argument has happened with the alcoholic.
Once we start seeing recurring alcoholic behavior patterns that are causing us to want to engage in arguing, we can start making changes in how we react to what they are doing. In the resource area below you will find a link to more information on this subject of changing our behaviors. The changes we can make are too many to be listed in this short article.
Does it seem like very little matters to them except getting drunk?
Most alcoholics have little regard for anyone when it comes to drinking. Children treat their parents poorly and spouses put their mates second place to the bottle. This is common alcoholic behavior. Their thoughts revolve around when and where they can fulfill their craving for alcohol.
The only way to deal with this type of behavior is to accept it. Nothing will really stop them from obsessing over alcohol all of the time. They are plagued with thoughts of fulfilling the physical cravings for alcohol constantly.
The purpose of understanding alcoholic behavior should be so that we can make positive changes in our personal lives. I have said in many times, the alcoholic will not change until they hit bottom. Therefore, we must change or behavior patterns in order to protect ourselves from the damaging affects of alcoholism.