You have got a girlfriend and you are happy, you are comfortable being with her, and you have had some great times together, life is good. Your only problem is that she wants more. She has decided that the relationship is ready to move to the next level and she wants you to commit, you on the other hand are not ready to commit. It has become a battle of wills, on the one side with have your girlfriend, that steely glint in her eye says she is going to make you commit, and then we have your good self who is responding to the pressure by being adamant that you won’t. Before it drive the two of you apart, you need to work out how to tell your girlfriend to stop pressuring you to commit.
Have you been together long enough to know each other. It’s going to take at least a year to really get to know each other, and to see in what direction your feelings are taking you. Don’t react to her when she is pressuring you to commit, that will just exacerbate the situation. It is also vital that you do not give in to her pressure! If and when you take the next step forward it has to be because it is something that you want to do, not something that you have been nagged into.
Why is she pressuring you to commit, what has triggered this desire? Does the problem lie in the fact that you two haven’t really been properly communicating with each other? It could be that you have been together a long time, and it is only natural to want to take the relationship forward. Has she been dropping subtle hints that completely passed you by, and so the only weapon that she thinks that she has left is to pressure you to commit. Does she actually know how you feel about? I hope that you are aware that the world will not come to an end if you talk about things like emotions.
Your slowness to respond could also be down to your still being unsure as to your feelings about her. Committing to each other is a big step and you have to be certain that it is the right move for you to make.
Are you scared to commit? Are you scared about losing your freedom, your identity, your independence, and your escape route? It’s true that being in a committed relationship means that you have give up certain things but you get a lot more back in return. You will still be you. There is nothing wrong with letting each other go and do their own thing, if anything it will keep your relationship stronger. And okay, if things don’t work out then it’s a lot more difficult to walk away from each other, but if your in a great relationship, and both of you are committed to making the best relationship that you can, then commitment has got to be worth trying.
Is the reason that your girlfriend is pressuring you to commit is that you are far to comfortable with the way things are? Is it the case that you have all the benefits of commitment but with none of the commitment. If that is the stage that you are at then your relationship is stagnating. Things cannot stay the same forever, to grow and develop they have to move forward. If your girlfriend wants commitment and she’s not getting in because you are to lazy, then at some point she will stop wasting her time with you. So if you want her to stay with you then it might be time to take some responsibility in the relationship.
If she is definitely not the one for you, then stop wasting each others time and call it a day.
So, how can you tell your girlfriend to stop pressuring you to commit? Start talking to her again and find out why commitment is so important to her. Let her know how you feel about her, but let her know that you are still working out how you feel about the long-term. If giving her a time frame would help then set enough weeks or months for you to be sure about yourself. If you think that you are ready to go all the way then you can go for a nice long engagement. Your girlfriend gets the commitment that she needs, and you get the time to work through your feelings about her. If you are going to move your relationship forward to the next level, then it can only happen, and it can only work if you do it together.