When a couple find themselves in a troubled marriage it can be very stressful for both partners. One solution is to look more closely at all those small things, to see if you can find solutions that will work for you. Here are some ideas for you to try.
Try being corny sometimes. It sounds like a cliche but doing something corny. like giving flowers, chocolate, after shave, or any other presents on Valentine’s Day, or even at other times, really can be so romantic. Why not arrange a nice ‘candlelit’ dinner for both of you, and play some sensual music when you’re feeling romantic. And you should never forget that there is a reason some of these ideas are corny ? it’s because they actually work! They help to create that romantic atmosphere – which can keep the lights burning brightly for you both. So, why not go ahead and be corny from time to time.
Why not try being unpredictable now and again, and do something which is unexpected, that will help your spouse, or partner, see that you care. As an example, if you have a favorite take-away restaurant, then stop by on the way home from work and give him, or her, a surprise and a night off from cooking your meal. It may sound small but it counts towards showing that you consider your partner, and want to do something for you both.
Another example; try taking on an annoying chore that your partner loathes doing. With my wife it?s ironing. I know that she does the ironing so much better than me, if the truth is known, but that’s not the issue. But I decided that she?d done enough ironing to last her a lifetime! My solution was to do it all for her, and I know she appreciates me doing it, so she can do other fun things with the time she saves. Mind you I did spend a small fortune on buying a new ?super-duper? iron that gives off more steam than an old-fashioned steam locomotive. I have to make up for my shortcomings in ironing by using technology!
So think about a chore your spouse doesn’t like doing and take it over, even if it’s only occasionally. In my case I decided to take over responsibility for doing the ironing, for the rest of our lives together. I know it sounds stupid, but it really is worth it to me in the ‘brownie points I get. My view was that if it makes my wife feel more ‘cared for’ then the two or three hours I spent on the task was well spent and worth the investment of my time in it.
The fact is that anyone can end up in a troubled marriage if we don’t think things through and try and be more thoughtful. Sometimes, doing those unpredictable things, even the ?corny’ ones, can pay real dividends. Why not go and write down a shortlist of items you could consider doing to help your spouse, or partner, and then do them for him, or her? Or you could share them between you perhaps, if you don’t feel you could take them over permanently. For some people being romantic comes easy, for others it is less so. But try and work on ideas that can help to cement your relationship, and friendship – even if they seem a bit worn out and corny to you. They may not be ‘worn-out’ to your spouse, or partner, so just go ahead and be corny from time to time.