I know it is impossible not think of self but self can become an obsession. I admit there are times when my mind is absorbed on self and oblivious to the needs of others.
I offend easily. I develop resentments and can become quickly angered when my mind is thinking only of me. In fact, when I am alone in my mind without conscience contact with God I am miserable, ornery, and cantankerous.
My selfish, self-absorbed mind does what it does not want to do. I say things I don’t want to say and I mean them. When I get into this selfish mode of thought, I care only about my wants and my wants only.
I am thankful the apostle Paul told us he felt the same way at times. He told us the things he wanted to do he didn’t do and the things he didn’t want to do he did.
I guess I could deny this side of me, this sinful side but denying this “Egocentric Mind Syndrome” only makes matters worse.
I feel guilty when I get in this zone because I know there is a better way and more product way but at times I think I just enjoy being miserable.
I am thankful the spiritual life I attempt to live is gauged on progress not perfection. I am thankful Paul mentioned and included the part about not being condemned if I follow the Nazarene, Jesus. I am also thankful I don’t have to earn my approval from God. I am thankful Jesus purchased my forgiveness for selfishness when He died for me on the cross.
For years, I have battled the “Egocentric” mind problem and I know there is no way to entirely get rid of self without God’s help. Now you may have discovered a way to be perfect and if you have I congratulate you on your achievement but for me I depend on progress and leave the perfection to the television preachers and the spiritually Jane’s of this world.
