It’s the same story every year. The holidays come rolling around and you don’t have a clue as to what to get the special woman in your life. You tapped your creative juices for her birthday, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and your anniversary. Now that the
holidays are here your creative well has run dry.
You’ve asked what she wants and she tells you a sweet answer like, “Whatever you get me will be fine, honey” but deep down, you know it won’t be. We both know if you get her that set of pots from QVC she’s been raving about, she’ll love the pots but will be upset because it’s a gift that benefits the entire house, not just her. And while a sincere and sweet gesture, it could land you a nice cozy spot on the couch for several weeks.
If you try to get more personal and buy her a robe in her favorite shade of purple, she’ll see right through your I-didn’t-know-what-to-get-you-so-I-got-you-this gift and rack it right up there with toothpaste and dental floss. And guess where that lands you? You got it – the couch.
Gift giving for the opposite sex can become pretty complicated when you think you know what she’d like, only to learn after several unpleasant hours in a crowded mall that it isn’t even remotely close to what she wanted. And if she’s pregnant or it’s that time of the month – just forget it! She’s almost certain not to like anything you put in front of her. Sad, but in many cases, true.
So, do you risk spending your entire holiday and the days to follow getting the cold shoulder and one or two word answers when you ask her a question all because you didn’t know how to tap into the inner workings of a woman’s mind? What’s a guy to do?
When Was the Last Time You Said “Thank You” for the Little Things?
It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but as a husband, you probably overlook some of the most mundane and simplest tasks your wife performs on a daily basis. Most men do. You come to expect it, instead of realizing that your wife chooses to do the things that she does not because she has to, but because she wants to. This isn’t meant to be a guilt trip, but take a step back and think about the things your wife does:
* Takes care of the kids
* Cleans the house
* Wipes up your middle of the night, sleep-induced bathroom misses
* Prepares dish contributions for your office potlucks
* Grocery shops
* Takes the kids to all of the birthday parties they’re invited to
* Closes cabinet doors because you have a bad habit of leaving them open
* Quietly and politely removes your sweaty gym socks from the kitchen counter
* Listens to you gripe about work, your best friend, the neighbors or whatever
* Supports you when you’re troubled
* And the list could go on!….
The point is, if you have a good wife, chances are she doesn’t breathe a word about any of this. Wouldn’t it be nice to show her how much you appreciate her, not only for the “big” things, like carrying and birthing your children or agreeing to relocate the family across country for a great job opportunity, but for the little things too?
Give Her the One Thing She Truly Wants But Doesn’t Get Enough Of
There’s one thing wives are screaming out for across the country this holiday season. They’re talking about it on mom forum websites, in blogs, in playgroups, at lunch with girlfriends, in the cafeteria at work and at in-home parties. And in order for you to know what a woman wants, well, quite frankly, it would require that you be a woman. Since you don’t have that advantage, I’m going to help you out here. The one thing a woman truly wants and desires is:
That’s right, she wants some one-on-one with herself. No you, no kids and maybe not even her best girlfriends – just much needed time alone. It doesn’t matter if she’s a mom with six kids or a career woman with a six-figure salary and no kids – she needs some time solo. She spends so much of her time seeing to the details of everyone and everything else in her life that she puts herself last on the list. If only for an afternoon, she’d like to be first for once.
Of course you’re thinking, “Well I gave her that last week when I took the kids to the park” – no, that doesn’t count. She spent the whole 45 minutes you were away cleaning and figuring out dinner for that night. What you want to give her is a smorgasbord of time to simply just be. If she wants to lie out on the couch in her underwear and watch TV all day – great! It’s her day to do with it as she pleases. To give you an idea of what she needs, here are some of the basics of “Me Time”:
* A clean empty house all to herself
* Long, hot bath
* Paint fingers and toes
* Favorite movies, or ones she’s never seen
* Wine, champagne or both
* Relaxing music
* Favorite food indulgence
So How do you Turn “Me Time” Into the Perfect Holiday Gift? Easy!
Take another look at the list of what women like to do when they (we) have “Me Time”. We like to relax. We want to forget the laundry, dishes, errands and stacks of bills and work and just go inward. We want to lose ourselves in ourselves and the best way to do that is through relaxation. So when you’re thinking about appreciating your wife for who she is and all that she does to enhance your life, think of how you can enhance the quality of hers.
Simply think of ways that you can support her desire to reconnect with herself. If that means giving her a new juicy novel and a freshly ground bag of her favorite java blend from Starbucks, go for it. If she’s spiritual and needs an afternoon to meditate – buy her a CD of soothing Native American flute melodies and a journal and wish her well on journey to regaining balance.
Whatever it is that will support her getting back in touch with who she is at her core, give it gladly to your beloved in abundance and with gratitude. Guaranteed your gift of appreciation will be greatly appreciated in the weeks that follow and will come back to you tenfold.