Does he like you and will he ask you out on a date? How can you tell? Do you wonder if that cute guy in class or at work who always smiles at you but never says anything is really interested? Did your parents tell you that you should never go after a guy…you should let the guys come after you? This is a confusing problem that many singles share. Here are some suggestions:
1. SPEAK UP
How will you know if he likes you and wants to ask you out? You have to let guys know who you are and you need to let them know that you would like to see them. You actually must say, “I’d like to see you sometime outside of class. Do you want to have coffee?” That is not aggressive. That is smart. Guys are terrified of rejection. If you are not letting him know you like him, he is probably afraid to take a chance.
2. DON’T WAIT TOO LONG
If you suspect he likes you even a little, don’t wait too long to talk to him. You may let your window of opportunity pass you by. He may give up on you, thinking you are not interested in him. The dating world has changed. Now is the time to let others know that you are interested in them. If you don’t, that leaves you at the mercy of being “chosen” by a guy you are not as interested in as you want to be. Then, you are left with “settling” for less than you want, trying to make him into the person you want him to be. Smart girls create an opportunity to meet up with a guy socially. Ask questions such as: “Are you going to the event (dance, social, church, party, etc.) tonight?” ” Would you like to meet for coffee after work?” “Some of us are going to a movie – would you like to join us? Here is my email and phone number.” If he doesn’t jump at the chance to spend time with you, he may have met someone else or… he’s just a smiley guy who smiles at everyone
3. INVITE HIM TO SOMETHING
If he likes you, you won’t really know until you invite him to something. In the future, when a guy shows interest, give him some solid encouragement. Do not “wait” to be asked out. Tell him where you’ll be around lunch time, or after 5:00, or on a Saturday afternoon. Invite him to join you in a group. Tell him you hope you’ll see him there. After that, the ball is in his court! You have nothing to lose with this friendly invitation.
Does he like you? Rules to remember that will guide you:
A. Guys are scared to death of rejection. Without being too obviously forward, make it easy for him to ask you out. Doing something in a group is always safe.
B. You be the chooser. Girls “waiting” for guys to ask them out doesn’t work. If you “wait” for the right guy to come along, you may be 80 when he gets there. Take responsibility for who you go out with by looking around and choosing the person you want to talk to.
C. Whenever you get a chance, compliment him. This sends the message that you’d like to know him better. (If you touch his arm at the same time you compliment him, he’s yours.)
Will he ask you out? There is always the chance that he is taken. If he is no longer available, move on. If he was smiling a lot at you, that means you have the ability to attract others. There are lots of great guys, so don’t settle for just anyone. When you do the above, you can help yourself to the people and the life you want.
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Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer.