If you’re looking for “Mr. Right”, and keep finding “Mr. Give me a Try”, then you may not be going about it the right way. The last thing you want, is to become another lonely, desperate soul who chases everyone away because you’re trying to get married quickly. If you play your cards right, and can stay calm, cool, and collected, you may improve your chances of finding “Mr. Right”. Here are a few tips that I have to offer:
First, know what you’re looking for. Finding the perfect man should start with a definition of what you call, “Mr. Right”. Keep in mind that it will differ from your best friends, and that’s okay. That just means the two of you won’t be competing (as much!). Don’t be surprised if you’re sights have been narrowed over the years. You’re just getting a better idea of whom you are compatible with and your chances of success increase with each new parameter. Most of all, don’t force something that isn’t there.
Second, be patient. There’s no rush and rushing into things will only cloud your judgment. There’s nothing wrong with going out with the first person that asks you, but keep that in mind. There will be plenty more, so if he doesn’t meet your criteria and seem like the ideal person for you, then you’re free to thank him for the great evening and move on. The evening of companionship will be nice, but don’t expect him to be the one to remove you from your life of solitude and loneliness.
Third, if you’re in a relationship and he doesn’t fit your criteria, you must reevaluate why you are with him. Just because you have someone to date, doesn’t mean that he’s the right one for you. Being with him may cause you to miss other opportunities that could send your “Mr. Right” into the arms of another woman.
Fourth, if things aren’t working out — network. Enlarge your circle of friends and try going out with new people. If you spend most of your time with co-workers, then try to look up old college friends through the alumni association. Join a new gym or start shopping at a new grocery store. “Mr. Right” is out there, you just need to increase your chances of bumping into him. Don’t forget to try social networking websites, like Meet2Go.com, parties, wine tasting events, and “fun runs”.
Fifth, volunteer. Even if you’re not turned on by the thought of working for free, if you’re not an outgoing person this is a great opportunity to be forced to be socially active with another person, or other people. When choosing events, think first about where you’re likely to find “Mr. Right”. Will he be working at the local soup kitchen on Saturday morning, or helping walk dogs at the animal shelter? Try and choose something that you think will yield the most success.
Sixth, put yourself out there and leave your body position “open to communication”. By this I mean go out to coffee shops, books stores, food courts, or city parks. When you’re there, leave the seat open next to you and look approachable. It’s also helpful to carry “props”. By props I mean something that puts you in that place for a reason, and is easy to start a conversation about. Keep in mind, if should be relevant to the area, so sitting in a bookstore twirling a Frisbee on your finger is out of the question, ladies. If men see an opportunity to approach you and ask you a question, or make a comment about a book that you’re reading, you’re doing the right thing.
Seventh, go where men go. If you’re shopping for a diamond you don’t look in “Claire’s Boutique” do you? Probably not. Stop by a sports bar on a big game night, wearing a jersey for the local favorite team (remember to remove the tag if you just bought it on your way there!). If you know anything about sports, don’t hesitate to dazzle the local men with your intimate knowledge of the passing records for John Elway. If you don’t know sports, claim to be there to support a friend and are like watching the game, but admittedly don’t know much about it. Your best bet may be to visit Google or ESPN.com and do a little research on who’s who in the big game.
Eighth, above all else, be yourself. While it may not seem like it all the time, men want to know who you are. The real you is bound to come out and visit sooner or later, so why not make it sooner? If he doesn’t like you for who you are, then he’s probably not your “Mr. Right”. Good luck, and happy dating!