Did you ever learn how to date? Are you stuck in being alone and don’t know how to get out there and start dating? Day after day, I get to hear the hundreds of reasons why people can’t get a date. Some of them have rich imaginations. Here are the latest testimonials that start this way: I can’t get a date because
· My mother is Russian and I learned to be cold from her.
· I’ve tried every book and counselor in the world, I’ve done everything there is to do to get a date, and nothing works for me.
· I’m bored with life, and there’s nothing left that gives me energy and makes me attractive.
· The only girl I’ve ever loved married someone else ten years ago.
· I’m forty-five, never been married, and the odds of my finding someone are zero.
· I’m sixty-four and I’ve been married and divorced four times, so who would want me?
To all of the people who said this and to all the people who have many other reasons for not dating, I say, “Just because you don’t know HOW to get a date doesn’t mean that you can’t. If you want to date, and if you want to meet someone special, you can do it!”
To further prove my point, every one of the above people eventually learned to date, and four out of six of them have already met someone and fallen in love. The other two will find their partners also if they keep working at it. Would you like to know how they did it? First, they changed their minds and stopped thinking it couldn’t be done. Second, they took ACTION. What does that look like?
1. You have to DO something.
Do you want to date? Home Alone might be a good name for a movie but it is not a good name for you. You cannot sit there in front of the TV and expect the dating world to come to you. If you feel you are ready to date; if you have your life reasonably together; if you have taken time to chill after breaking up with someone; and if you have your work life on track, then it is time for you to get moving. Lots of dates are waiting to meet you.
2. Forget about the myth of REJECTION.
Dating requires that you put your fears aside. So many great people stop the flow of their dating life and accumulate more and more “proof” that they are not datable or lovable. The “proof,” of course, is all in their imagination. When you gather this kind of false evidence, you either settle for someone you don’t really want, or, don’t go out at all because you think someone might not want you. Letting go of the idea of rejection will set you free. Once you understand that YOU have the power over how you feel about yourself, no one can “reject” you. If someone indicates they don’t want to go out with you, guess what? You don’t want to go out with them. Strong self-esteem dictates that you don’t want to be around people who don’t feel the same.
3. There is success in VOLUME.
Dating requires that you go out to meet people, and if you fear rejection, you are not going to be dating. Here’s the whole idea: YOU HAVE TO TAKE MASSIVE ACTION. If you only get out once in a while, like a party at a friend’s house or a dance somewhere, your chances of meeting someone are slim. You are going to go home–alone–and feel, rejected. A few actions do not usually equal success.
4. The higher the volume of actions taken, the greater the SUCCESS.
If you want to date, you will get out often to different settings. You will be friendly, talk to people, make friends, and create a social life. You will have so much going on, you won’t have time to feel rejected. If someone doesn’t notice you, it will be as insignificant as a can of Pepsi gone flat. Toss it aside. You will have such a volume of prospective dates from all of the actions you have taken, who cares about a fizz-less soda? Here are the three key ways to meet someone:
· The Internet
Dating means you have to use caution, just as you would in meeting any stranger anywhere. Don’t be gullible. Get a background check if you think you’ve met your match. But you can still make use of this effective way to meet someone.
Don’t cling to misguided pride. This is not beneath you…it’s smart. ASK people if they know anyone for you. Ask them more than once and ask more than one person.
· Social settings
You KNOW you have to go places and meet people. Be friendly. Knock yourself out.
That’s your course outline for DATING 101. Do you want to meet someone? Like the disbelievers quoted, you can do it. They did it. I know you can do it too.