If your sense of humor is on vacation right now, please, do not read this story.
Dedicated to all Moms because it takes nothing but a GREAT sense of humor to be a good- looking woman, a caring mother, a responsible employee, and a good wife all in the same time.
We all have those days when we have the strange feeling that the whole world signed a vicious contract against us; days when no matter what we do, things just go wrong. The disastrous chain of events always starts in the same pattern- for some weird reason you fail to hear the alarm clock. Then the snowball effect comes.
You wake up well past breakfast time but your beloved ones seem not to care about that and they insist on their right to be fed. So, you try to get dressed in a hurry and… this is the right time for the first finger nail to go. You cannot let something so silly ruin your day, can you? You are not going to a beauty contest; nobody is going to inspect your manicure. Who are you trying to fool? It is a tragedy. Anyway, you are going to iron your favorite silk blouse, get dressed, make breakfast for the little monsters, drive them to school and go to work pretending that nothing has happened. At work things will be different; you love your job and remember, today you have this very important meeting for which you have prepared so carefully.
Enough talking, let’s get back to work. That beautiful blouse that embraces you with such a delicate silk touch is waiting for you on the ironing board. “Oh, my Goodness! What is that?” The iron was too hot and you burned your blouse. Now it is wrinkled as the skin of a 90-year-old rancher. Do I see tears in your eyes? Listen, Lady, you do not have time for such luxuries. You overslept, remember, and each second counts. Find something else to put on and off you go to the kitchen.
First things first. Coffee. A delicious, steaming cup of coffee will perk you up. What? Now it strikes you that while shopping for groceries yesterday coffee was what you forgot to pick up. Never mind, you can always get a cup of coffee on the way to work. Take a deep breath and concentrate on the breakfast. What is it going to be for breakfast this morning? Pancakes, of course, kids love them. Speaking of kids, hurry up, Lady, kids are hungry and they are getting impatient. Oh, is that you shouting? ‘Stop running around the table, Jake! Do not play with the knife, Becky; you are going to hurt yourself! Leave the dog alone, Timmy and get ready for breakfast!’ Oh, no! See what you did? You dropped the pancakes on the floor. No, no, no! You are a responsible and caring mother and you do not believe in the 30 seconds rule.
Well, cereal and milk will do. There come the bowls, the box of cereal, and… Obviously, coffee was not the only thing you forgot to buy yesterday. Somebody with a weird sense of humor stuck an empty carton of milk in the refrigerator and fooled you. Don’t you even think of yelling at the kids! Remember all those boxes of chocolates and cookie jars that you used to leave empty left and right. Life is a funny thing, honey, isn’t it? What comes around goes around.
‘Come on, kids, get into the car, school starts in 20 minutes.’ Then you turn the key, step on the accelerator, and start the car. Start the car! I said, start the car! See that little red needle, honey? The tank is empty! Oh, well, this is not the end of the world. Now you know why cab services exist. All you have to do is dial the number and wait for the taxi to come. Saved by the car horn. ‘Kids, taxi is here! Hurry up! Go! Go! Go!’
Sigh! It is ten minutes to eight. Do not worry; you are going to make it to school just in time for the first class. Traffic is not that heavy this morning. What!? Something is not quite right. Why are there so few cars on the road? Come on, honey, you found something to worry about! Four minutes to eight. Three minutes to eight. Two minutes…
‘Get out of the car, kids! Run, kids, run!’
Don’t you forget something, honey? Oh, yeah, pay the driver. Why does he have this bizarre look on his face? It is not the right time to pay attention to people’s facial expressions.
One minute to eight. Oops! The door is locked. Now what? Call somebody to open the door. You do not have time to waste; you have to be at the office at 8:30.
‘Mommy, Mommy, the taxi driver is waving at us.’
Oh, dear, it goes from bad to worse. Now you are getting hit by a taxi driver in front of your offspring while you are trying to brainstorm how to enter the locked school building.
‘Ma’am, it is Sunday today. Hop in the car and I will drive you back home.”
Is this person OK with the upstairs? Let’s get this straight, Mister, I do not take orders from some taxi driver whether it is Sunday or not.
‘Ma’am, stop banging on the door and let me drive you home. It is Sunday today, the school is closed.’
Sunday, heh? That is why there was no traffic on the way to school, not to mention the closed stores around the school.
‘Come on, kids, get back into the taxi and let’s get out of here.’
