During a challenging situation, you might discover one or two opportunities for improvement. You just need to be confident with your abilities in dealing with it. Life throws us challenges that are tough to get through. These curveballs sometimes stress us out way more than they should. Learning about ourselves promotes growth. In my case it works beautifully.

And then something happens. It isn’t fair. You don’t deserve it. You didn’t see it coming. You didn’t plan for it. Or what you would have done if you only realized before. Or what other people should have done to help you. There is no shortage of opportunities to practice dealing well.

Make acceptance an immediate priority. It’s like the quote from a recent post on getting started when you don’t feel ready: “Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take action. Take the action and your feelings will change.” You’d think we’d learn early on that life isn’t fair, but instead we cling to how we think things should be. Hard work should be rewarded. Kindness should be reciprocated. When you start going on an unfair spiral, remind yourself, “It is what it is.” And then choose a reaction that aligns with the way you’d like the world to be.

Focus on the life lesson. Question whether it’s as big a problem as it seems. We often turn minor upsets into huge catastrophes in our minds. But most situations can be solved. Sometimes they’re even blessings in disguise. So much felt unfair about how it all panned out.

Whenever I deal with adversity, I remind myself to keep rocking. Remember you can continue from this new place. There is always more than one way to address a problem. Ask yourself how someone you respect would handle the situation.

Life happens, and it isn’t always easy. Difficulties will occur throughout your life, at different stages and ages. Did you choose this path? Sometimes the difficult situation comes about as a result of your “calling”, be it faith, career, parenthood, research, or whatever.

s hard as this may seem–you do have choices. Seek equanimity. Take time out from the difficult situation. Use humor to help you cope. Look for silver linings. Hard times can be both creative and inspiring. Get support. You don’t have to love what you’re going through, just make it bearable until it becomes your “new normal”.

In times of grief, support from loved ones is usually important. But you have to start in from yourself. Act now!