It’s an all-too-common scenario – when a man first starts dating you, it’s all fun and games. Not a day passes by without him calling you up and setting up dates, and it’s always a blast spending time with each other. But after a while, you notice that the attention and affection he’s giving you is slowly decreasing in frequency and intensity. What’s going on?

The typical (and paranoid) thought that comes to most women’s minds is that he might be getting bored with the relationship, and is probably trying to find enjoyment elsewhere. This is where these women make one of two common, yet very deadly, mistakes:

#1 – They confront their boyfriends about the sudden drop in affection. Some women, upon noticing that their boyfriends are going out with them less and less, often confront them by asking questions like:

“Is there something wrong? You don’t seem to be as into me as you used to be.”

“Why aren’t you as romantic as before?”

Or worst of all:

“Are you thinking of breaking up with me?”

#2 – They try to keep the excitement up by doing more – they try setting up dates with their boyfriends before he has a chance, or they try to be more romantic whenever they’re together. This is all in hopes that he goes back to the more affectionate personality he had when you were only starting out.

These two reactions are common, but they run the risk of ending the relationship – even when the boyfriend wasn’t even thinking of breaking up in the first place.

Here’s why. When a man first starts dating a woman, he’s in it for the fun and the freedom. The thought of committing for the long-term is the last thing on his mind. This is why he can afford to be so sweet and romantic – he’s running no real risk. Yet.

But when he begins to like you so much that he starts thinking about the long-term, it’s a serious shifting of gears for him. He suddenly becomes more focused on the future. For instance, he starts thinking if his job would be enough to support the two of you, or if he’s ready to take on the role of the “provider” of a family he might one day have.

This is the main reason why he becomes less affectionate – he’s focusing his attention to more important things. This is why trying to bring him back to the way he used to be might just change his mind about settling down with you – and believe me, you don’t want to shoot yourself in the foot by making the two mistakes mentioned above!

Just take it easy, stay positive, and let things play out naturally.