Your wife wants out of the marriage. She’s unhappy. Any spark that she felt has long since gone out and she’s feeling lonely and emotionally abandoned within the marriage. It breaks your heart to hear this because you still deeply love her and all you want is to grow old with her and share all your life experiences with her. You have two very different choices when it comes to how you’ll handle this situation. You can give in and give her what she wants which means an eventual divorce. Or you can fight for what you want. Your wife loved you enough to devote herself through marriage to you at one point, you owe it to your relationship to try and make that happen again. Learning how to convince your wife not to leave you is the only way you can save your marriage.

The first step when you want to convince your wife not to leave you is to acknowledge her unhappiness. You can’t rebuild the relationship if you don’t address the problems. Something is causing her to want to distance herself from you. You have to identify what that issue is before you can even begin to consider how you’ll rebuild the love. Talk to your wife. This is going to be an uncomfortable discussion but it’s necessary. Explain to her how you feel about the marriage and your desire to save it. Let her know that you are open to hearing what is troubling her and you’re ready to absorb it, regardless of how difficult it will be. Then listen to her without interruption. Allow her the opportunity to speak her mind and to get it all out.

If your wife is insistent on leaving, set a time limit for that. Tell her that although you are not even close to considering the idea of a divorce you will agree to a trial, temporary separation. This will be hard for you to do but it will help you in several ways. First, it shows your wife that you are respecting her needs. Secondly, it gives you both a chance to regroup as individuals and cool down. Lastly, it also helps you both to understand what life without the other will be like.

While this is going on you have to become the perfect husband for her. You must show her that you love her every opportunity you get. If you two do indeed separate, offer to help her with whatever you can. Call her regularly to talk. Bring her flowers. This may seem ill placed but it will show her that you are thinking of her. Also, continue to encourage her to talk to you about what she needs and wants from the marriage. She’ll start to see the best in you again and it will help her to realize that leaving the marriage may not be really what she wants after all.