So you’ve got her number. And you have a beautiful memory of your first encounter. Lots of smiles, seductive glances, and a great connection. She seemed really into you, and you totally charmed her.

And now it’s time to continue that connection and seduction with texts, to do it just right and set up the first date. This is where most guys have trouble and often mess it up. Where she just doesn’t reply or starts putting off meeting you. Somehow, because of bad texting, the spark just left;

“But Why?!” These guys ask themselves in vain. “We were getting on so well! What happened?”

The thing is that after that first interaction, her emotions were high and she remembered you so well. But as time passed, she went about her life and did many things and if your first texting is not equally strong, she won’t be able to find and feel again those first emotions that she felt with you, and if that happens she won’t feel an urge to meet up with you again.

But not to fear my friend! There are some key, simple rules to follow with texting that will bring back her emotions and attraction to you, and guarantee that you meet for a date. Before we get into it, here is one essential thing to remember with texts;

The Tricky Thing About Texts

With texts you have to choose your words very carefully, because that is all you have – Words. 7% of communication is words, 38% is the tone of your voice, and 55% is your body language. So in person or even on the phone, you are so much more powerful in your communication.

Never think that texting can compare to that personal interaction – the goal with texts is to remind her of the fun energy and attraction you had, and then work towards getting her on that date. All the time creating that air of playfulness, teasing and non-neediness.

Never try to build rapport by text, or carry out a deeper conversation. Without your eyes, voice and body behind it you won’t be creating attraction.

But what you can do with texting is tease her, get her a little excited and set up that first date. Without further ado, here are the 3 stages of effective texting;

Stage 1: The First Text

Your first text is very important. Make it strong, playful and aim to remind her of the attraction and emotions she felt in that first interaction.

Send it an hour or two after you met. Just as she is beginning to forget about your meeting. Boom, you text and all those feelings come back.

Don’t ask for a date here, we’re just making a connection and being a bit cheeky, playful, funny.

The best thing is to bring a back a joke you both shared, perhaps in her nickname, or any other part of the text. If you were joking about how she’s dressed all one colour, say; “Hey, lady in yellow,… ” if she’s crazy about French movies say; “Hey Amelie,… “

And then just a brief, cocky and funny message to say hi. That is all. Here is a great example from Tom Torero; “Hey sunbather Sophie, random but cool to meet you. Are you always so friendly to new people or was it the blue sky? Tom”

And here is a cockier, funnier one from Gareth Jones (my personal favorite); “Hey, it’s Gareth. Save this number, it’s the most important one you’ll ever get” (with a winking face at the end).

If she replies, great. Have a little conversation, 2/3 texts, not more. Then say gotta go, chat soon. No need to overdo it here, just keep it low pressures, casual and friendly. She will be charmed by the jokey, confident, but laid back attitude.

If she doesn’t reply, you can send her a playful reminder text 1 or 2 days later; “That’s it we’re getting a divorce. Call your lawyer, you can keep the cat.” Or something like that. “Hmmm, my mother warned me about girls like you… ” Or you can just send her the ping text in stage two;

Stage 2: Ping Texts

A general rule is it’s good to stay in touch every other day or every 3 days. To keep in her mind. So two days after the initial meeting and text, send her a funny ping text like these;

“Hey, just walked past the Starbucks and thought of you. Enjoying the sunshine today?” “Just saw a cat that looks like you.” “In a park with a coffee and a good book.” “Just saw something that reminded me of you… wow” “Quick question; red or white wine?”.

These are called ping texts, and they are beautiful.

You’re not generally asking a question of them, and you’re not asking her to go on the date you talked about. But you’re sending her a pressure-free, interesting text that she will reply to.

When she does reply, you can have a bit of banter, then;

Stage 3: Set Up the Date

A great way to prepare a date is to think about what she likes, from your first interaction. It’s always a good idea to find these things out. So, if she loves art, you want to meet in or near an art gallery. If she likes sushi, think of a great sushi place, if she’s an actress, think of something related to acting, etc.

Then, when you suggest it, say it like this; “They’re showing a fantastic exhibition at the Tate Modern by the river, does that sound good to you?” or “I know an amazing sushi place in Soho. It has the freshest fish, a Michelin star chef from Tokyo, and a cool, quirky atmosphere. Does that sound good to you?”

When she replies that it does sound good, to arrange a time and date, ask when she’s free next week. Or just say; “Great, what’s better for you – Wednesday or Friday afternoon?” Giving the choice is better. Don’t ask yes / no questions. I have to give full credit to Gareth Jones for this style of asking for dates, which have worked wonders for me and will for you too.

You see here that because you’re choosing something she loves and would love to see, she is inclined to say yes. You are showing that you were paying attention and that you already understand her quite well. You ‘re also offering the date in a way that gives her no chance to think and resist – it’s all so smooth and tempting, just like the entire seduction process should be. And there are your three stages of incredible texting!