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Stranger’s zits are just friends you haven’t popped yet.

Guys, we need to talk.

USA

This…is a judgment free zone. And I need to tell you about a person found on Craigslist, who’s looking to pop some zits.

AMC

Maybe…even YOURS.

NBC

Yep, someone posted an ad in the Midtown Manhattan area looking for a person with “pimples/acne/blackheads…[who] would allow me to pop them.”

ABC

Just so we’re clear, this person wants to POP YOUR ZITS FOR YOU. And they’ll even pay you for the honor.

newyork.craigslist.org

“I am one of the popaholic [sic] obsessed with watching videos of blackheads/pimples/sebaceous filaments being picked at or popped. I thought I give [sic] myself a holiday present this year and pop some pimples of my own. Only I don't seem to have any. This is where you come in. If you have pimples/acne/blackheads and would allow me to pop them I would be so extremely grateful.
I would pay you too. $45 an hour.
Please send pictures of what you would let me pop and your availability.

The poster promises to use the Enilsa Brown method, which involves squeezing the area with cotton swabs — rather than using your fingers — to pop your pimples.

Comedy Central

It looks like this:

(Sorry.)

youtube.com

Anyway! This is a terrible idea, because 1) stranger danger 2) you shouldn’t go to an amateur aesthetician to get your zits dealt with and 3) the first two points above. But still, random anonymous Craigslist stranger, we salute you for trying to chase your pus-filled dreams.

Bravo

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