Wondering how to lock lips on a second date? It all starts with getting a second date in the first place, so please do not ignore how important the first date is. This article is broken into two parts. Part 1 is “acting right on the first date so you get a second date.” Part 2 is “How to lock lips on a second date.”

Part 1: Acting right on the first date so you get a second date

A lot of guys just “wing it” when it comes to the all important first date. “I’ll just be myself” is what they say. Then they wonder why the girl that enthusiastically accepted date 1 is all of a sudden cold and distant when it comes to trying to go out again.

Here are some rules of thumb for a first date (and actually, ALL your dates with her).

1. Be a gentleman by holding her chair, opening her car door, and for gosh sakes, don’t eye up other women when you’re out with her. Also, keep your eyes focused on hers, and not, er, lower, if you know what I mean.

Also, keep the date around 2-3 hours. There is no sense in trying to have an 8 hour date. You will just wear each other out and you don’t have enough time in with her to survive that kind of togetherness. Ever hear the statement “familiarity breeds contempt?” Early on this is so true.

You have to spoon feed yourself to her so she is always anticipating the next time you will get together. Dating women is a marathon, NOT a sprint.

2. Don’t talk about how you think the world is going to end in 2012. Maybe you buy into all that calendar stuff but a date is not the appropriate place for that or any other “serious” topics. Save the serious stuff for a philosophy class. Always keep things light and funny with her.

3. Grabbing is good when you’re on a game show trying to get as many balls in your hands within a minute to win a big prize. Grabbing is not good on the date with her. I get that you’re attracted to her but only know she knows when the right time for you to touch is. Do not put your arm around her, try get her to sit on your lap, rub her shoulders or anything else. I hear from so many women that guys that get in their space too soon TURN THEM OFF. If she wants to brush your arm or leg while laughing, cool. But you stay backed off of her!

Also, her touching you like that is a sign she likes you. You’ll never get that sign if you get in her space and have your paws all over her. You’d leave the date wondering if she was touching you because she liked you or if she was trying to get away from you!

4. This goes along with #2. DO NOT talk about all your life disappointments, ESPECIALLY about ex-lovers. She does not care you didn’t get the video game when you were 5, the car when you were 16 or the love of your life at age 22. She is there SOLELY to see if she likes you enough to see you again for a second date. Get her laughing and keep things light.

5. Don’t reveal too much personal information about yourself, ESPECIALLY about how you feel about her. A lot of guys blurt out how much they like the girl and how they’d love to see her again. That turns women off because in spite of what they say, they like to chase a guy.

When you drop “I think this date is going really well, I like you a lot, maybe we can do this again,” then she might smile at you and say she likes you too. She might even enthusiastically agree to another date. Make no mistake though, you lowered her INTEREST LEVEL in you by telegraphing your true feelings.

Her INTEREST LEVEL is like real interest in a savings account. Money doesn’t gain interest in your pocket, it gains interest when you invest it. Her INTEREST LEVEL doesn’t rise in you when you’re in her face telling you how much you like her, it rises when you’re not around and she is wondering about what you’re up to.

Also, don’t give her too many compliments (you’re allowed 2, “you look nice,” at the beginning and “I had fun,” at the end) and DO NOT give her gifts. That means no flowers during the date (or after) and no candy, bears, shiny things, etc. Her INTEREST LEVEL doesn’t rise because of what you give her.

You know which kinds of women respond to gifts from a guy they just started going out with? MERCENARIES. Do you really want a MERCENARY?

6. Last but not least, call her only every 5-9 days and only ask her out on the weekdays until she specifically asks why you don’t take her out on the weekend nights. Obviously that is not going to happen between date 1 and 2 so after date 1, wait 5-9 days and ask her out again for a weekday. During that 5-9 days, if she had a good time and laughed a lot on your first date, she’ll be thinking about and anticipating date 2. Her INTEREST LEVEL in you will be rising.

So, you’ve acted right on date 1, she had a lot of fun, you’ve made her wonder about you by not calling her right away and she’s anticipating a second date. As you can see, this is going to make her much more willing and excited about kissing you on date 2. Which brings us now to part 2.

Part 2: How to lock lips on a second date

Date 2 should mirror date 1 as far as how you act but now you’ve set yourself up as a cool guy with her.

She’s available because she’s gotten rid of every other guy but you (up until now). What did the “rejected” guys do?

I’m betting they tried to call a lot, wanted to be in her space touching her, told her how much they liked her, gave her a ton of compliments, wanted to fit in 3 dates the first week they met her, told her how much they miss their ex-girlfriend, sent her flowers and mainly made a pest of themselves.

You are the smooth guy that pulls her chair out, makes her laugh, and causes her to wonder about what you’re up to between dates. Believe it or not, even if you’re home in your boxers playing an online video game during every night you aren’t with her, she’ll still think that you have 5-6 other women that she has to knock out of the box for your affection. Well, she’ll think that if you’re not in her face calling her and giving gifts.

Women love to think they have to blast other women out of the ring to get you. I don’t know why that is, but it is!

So, on the 2nd date, you just have fun, make her laugh, keep your hands to yourself, and end the date after 2-3 hours just like date 1.

Walk her to the door just like on date 1 (like the gentleman that you are), tell her you had fun and then just go for the kiss. If she returns it, you’ve got a good date 3 candidate. If she turns her head or backs away, you’ve got to delete her number!

Also, you be the one that backs off the kiss first! Do not linger and kiss until the sun comes up. Every other guy would do that. Well, the guys that are trying to make dating women a sprint. You know it is marathon and every date needs to build on the last. Remember, she always needs to anticipate being with you the next time and be excited about it.

Remember guys, if you’re wondering how to lock lips on a second date, keep in mind it starts with a strategy that you must employ from date 1 on!